When Christ walked the earth it was incredibly dangerous to be a follower of Jesus. Even before Christ came people faced peril and ridicule when they talked about God and their faith in Him. When Christ gave the disciples their great commission, He told them they would face trouble in this world while following Him. They would be challenged.
Our culture is what we call the "1st world" may not be a threat of death at every turn when we follow Jesus, but we still face challenges in our walk with Him. We face loved ones, friends, enemies, and strangers alike who will try to sway our faith in God. We trudge through slander, ridicule, loss of relationships, harassment, bullying, assaults, and all kinds of abuse from people because we choose to believe that God is God, scripture is truth, and Jesus died and rose again to save us from our sins. The world around us is ripe with those who will gladly rip your faith to shreds if you let them.
What do we do when we face challenges?
So what do we do when we face these challenges? How do we respond when loved ones and friends discourage us in our faith? What do we do when we face loss and hurt for the sake of our relationship with our Creator?
Rejoice when you are challenged
The first thing we do is rejoice. Rejoice because when we face hostility and suffering for the sake of our faith, generally that means we're doing something right. We are called to be different, to be set apart. One of the best ways to know you're set apart for Christ is when others who don't walk with Jesus notice and lash out because of it. Just as Christ suffered we will suffer, and through it we will glorify God when we respond with praise to our Father in the midst of the hurt and danger.
Pray when you are challenged
The next thing to do is pray. Be grateful to God for the opportunity to shine His light, and lift that gratefulness to Him. Just like we discussed last week, tell Him all that you're feeling, experiencing, and struggling with. Suffering for His sake is by no means easy. When we lift our hurt feelings, struggles, and sins to Him, and pray over our relationships that are tough or at risk, we allow Him to give us His grace, mercy, and love so that we may exemplify Him to those who try to condemn us. Seek to empty yourself to God so that He can fill you up with Himself, equipping you for the battle ahead.
Set the example when you are challenged
Lastly, set the example. Now that you've rejoiced and given it to God, use what God fills you up with to live in the image of Christ. Don't just walk the walk; talk the talk. It's not an easy thing to be loving toward those who seek to tear you down, but do it anyway because that is what Jesus would do, and what God calls on us to do.
Praise God for trusting us with these opportunities to glorify and exemplify Him. Let go and let God fill you up with His goodness. Use what God fills you up with to glorify Him, strengthen you, and share the love, truth, mercy and grace of Jesus.
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'“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams, as the streams that overflow when darkened by thawing ice and swollen with melting snow, but that stop flowing in the dry season, and in the heat vanish from their channels. ' Job 6:14-17
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. Luke 22:41-44
Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 2 Timothy 3:12
But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:13
For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, Philippians 1:29
Last week we dove into some different ways we are tested throughout life, and how we should respond to being tested. Another important thing we can learn from the story of Job is that we will not always understand why we're going through what we're going through.
Job does not hide the fact he is confused, upset and in pain. In fact he expresses it straight to God. Throughout the turmoil Job continued to seek God and remained firm in what he knew about God's nature and promises. He was upset about what he felt God was doing to him, confused about why he was being so brutally treated, and in great agony of many kinds but he still clung to what he knew about God.
What do you know about who God is?
What do you know about His character?
God is faithful, always keeps His promises, never leaves or forsakes us, is in control of everything, loves us without fail, is patient, merciful, our provider, and always has a bigger plan than what we can see.
When you don’t understand your circumstances, talk to God about it. It's okay to not understand and to be honest with God about our feelings, and above all we should cling to what we know to be true about God’s character and promises when we don’t understand His ways. When we accept that His plan is higher than us we're better in tune with Him, more at peace with our God-given path, and more thankful for our God-given purpose, promises and provisions. When we try to understand His ways we get distracted from what we know already.
Share your worries, frustrations, confusions and pains with God and lean on who you know He is instead of His ways that you don't understand.
' "Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, who long for death, but it comes not, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures, who rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave? Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For my sighing comes instead of my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water. For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes."'
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. '
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
As our world is suffering in a variety of ways due to the current pandemic of COVID-19 we are all being plunged into a world of fear, selfishness, panic, judgment, chaos, and carelessness. Our faith is being tested at a capacity we are unfamiliar with. What we need right now is something so few of us are experiencing - peace.
Peace is found when we trust God and allow ourselves to be emptied of fear, panic, and worry in order for Him to fill us up with His peace. Trusting God is a very human struggle we all face. In order for our trust and faith in God to grow, we will be tested.
We are being tested every single day, from little things to big things. Testing is all about growth and strength training. As we endure testing in our lives we are being refined into who God intended us to be. We are being prepared for eternity in His kingdom.
There are many ways we are tested throughout our lives.
Tested in Selflessness
Do you focus more on your wants or the wants and needs of others? Do you take the time to help others, or worry more about helping yourself? We are called to be selfless, but must constantly fight our selfish nature to become more like Christ and find peace.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Do you give only when you have more than enough, share your time only when it suits you, or give only when you get something in return? We're called to give even when we have little and to expect nothing in return. God provides what we have so that we can be generous toward others. We are more blessed in giving than receiving.
You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
Are you only kind to people when you think they deserve it, or when you're in the mood to be kind? We are called to be kind at all times. Kindness is an active choice and it is contagious. You don’t spread light with darkness, but you can vanquish darkness with light.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Do your goals and plans include helping others, or primarily yourself? Do you use the skills God gave you to further His mission, or to further your own? God blesses us with our resources, minds and abilities so that we can use them to serve others and further His kingdom.
For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.
Do you obey God only when it is easy, or only run to Him when life is hard? Are you selfless, generous, kind, and serving others in order to further His mission? God commands us to be faithful in all things, at all times; good and bad, easy and difficult. When we are faithful in the little things, we will be faithful in the bigger things. When we are faithful to God through the testing we see that He is faithful to us.
Whether it is good or bad, we will obey the voice of the Lord our God to whom we are sending you, that it may be well with us when we obey the voice of the Lord our God.”
In order to endure the testing we must face, we must lean into God, trust Him through it, and surrender ourselves and our sense of control to the One who is actually in control. Lift up your struggles with a thankful heart, and remain faithful to God who is always selfless, generous, kind, faithful, and serving His people.
Activate your faith and stand firm, not only to show God we can but to show ourselves that He can. How do you know you really trust God if you're never put in situations where you must? How will you strengthen your belief that God will carry you if you never surrender control?
God is right there experiencing your struggles with you, waiting for you to trust Him to carry you. Even when it doesn't feel like it, like He's left you, like there's just too much darkness, chaos, and pain, God is there to help you get through it and pass every test. Trust Him to be in control and let His peace replace your fears.
'And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servantJob, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?" Then Satan answered the Lord and said, "Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face." And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand." So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord . '
And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord ." Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. '
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Last week we talked about how our testimony can impact someone else’s faith journey. This week, I want to focus more inward. We asked the question of who you want to model your life after; Jesus, Judas or Peter, and today we are going to explore that question a little deeper.
Many of the people who followed Jesus into Jerusalem thought He had come to save them from the Romans. Unfortunately, once they began to realize He was not there for this, they began turning on Him. As soon as they felt He wasn’t there to help them with what they saw as their most important and immediate needs, they bailed on Him and His divine mission.
Before the Last Supper Judas went to the Pharisees and agreed to betray Jesus, after which Satan entered him. Judas chased after wealth by stealing from the ministry money while following Jesus, by betraying Jesus for money, and being greedy along the way. Judas started with petty crimes, even while following Christ, then over time they progressed to bigger sins, until he had spiraled so far that he allowed Satan to overtake him. After betraying Jesus he realized he had made a great mistake and tried to undo what he’d done by giving the money back to the Pharisees, and then went and hung himself instead of asking forgiveness.
When Jesus was about to be killed, Peter was caught up in the crowd, watching Jesus get beaten. People recognized Peter as one of Jesus’s friends and followers but because Peter was scared and did not want to have the same fate as Jesus, Peter denied even knowing Jesus not once but 3 times.
After the rooster crowed, Peter realized what He’d done and wept. When Jesus rose again, Peter was among the remaining 11 disciples that met Jesus in Galilee and worshiped him. Peter returned to Jesus even after he had denied him to save himself, knowing he had done wrong.
Jesus was beaten, ridiculed, hated and judged along the way to Golgotha, and as He hung nailed to the cross he asked God to forgive all of the people who had hurt Him, accused Him, turned away from Him, and killed Him. He begged forgiveness for them and then He died for those very same people so that they, and all who came after, could forever be saved from their sinful nature, and forgiven for denying, betraying, killing and walking away from Him.
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Despite the crowds and even His disciples turning on Him, Jesus still chose to go to the cross for them - and for us. He knew what was going to happen then and in the future, that people would still reject, deny, and turn away from Him for generations to come.
Even though we reject Him when He doesn’t answer us in the ways we want or expect; even though we turn our back on His plan because it gets tough or scary; even though we put fame, wealth, popularity, and common culture before Him He still paid with His life to save us in a way we never knew we needed saving.
Even though He knew what was ahead He did it anyway so that we could have a relationship with God, be saved from our old selves, and be given the gift of New Life through that relationship, which is only available because He paid the price for us.
Even though we mess up, miss the mark, give up, walk away, reject and deny Him we are still able to do as Peter did and come back to Christ. Don’t lose hope. You are never too far gone. You are not a lost cause. You have never messed up so badly you can’t turn back or bring your mistakes to Him. That is what He died for - so that we could all run back to God, confess our sins, and find an eternal relationship full of love, hope, and forgiveness.
'When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. '
'Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said. A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” “Man, I am not!” Peter replied. About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.” Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. '
'They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. '
The Easter story is the story of Jesus Christ sacrificing Himself and rising again in order to defeat death, save all of mankind from their sins, and bring us back into a relationship with God. There are so many incredible lessons we need to take away from this cornerstone of Christianity, I want to focus on one lesson that is likely a viewpoint we haven't looked at this story in how to live as Christ, and what that means beyond ourselves.
Before Jesus came into Jerusalem he had raised a man named Lazarus from the dead. Many people heard of the miracle Jesus performed and came to see Him in Jerusalem, not only because of who Jesus was but also to see Lazarus. They followed Jesus to see the fruit of the miracle He had performed.
The Easter story is a perfect example of how we should live as Christ (Christ prioritizing the salvation of mankind to the point of sacrificing Himself for the sake of saving everyone else), how we typically do live (Peter denying Him and Judas betraying Him when it got tough to follow Him), and how others (believers and unbelievers) can be drawn in by the way we live and the testimonies we share about Christ's saving grace in our lives even though we’ve denied and betrayed Him.
Here is a vital point that I don't want us to miss or discount. We don't always seek Jesus because He is our Savior. We often seek Him because of what we heard He did in someone else's life. Sometimes we are drawn to Him because of how He has changed, used, helped or blessed others.
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Each of us is given a story and testimony that we are called to share with others. That is one of the most powerful ways we can draw others into the love and truth of Christ. We don't always need to be throwing scripture at people and telling them how they should apply it to their situation. There is a time and place for that approach, but let us not miss the opportunities to use the story He gave us to draw others closer to the water.
So, will you live by Christ's selfless example, putting the salvation of your fellow human as a priority in your life by walking the walk He intended for you and sharing the testimony He gave you? Or will you instead walk like Judas who betrayed Jesus for the sake of wealth and gain? Or like Peter, who denied Jesus when it became tough to continue following him? Whatever you choose, it is all part of your story. It all has the power to either draw someone nearer to or further from the waters we're all called to step out onto.
'When the large crowd of the Jews learned that Jesus was there, they came, not only on account of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests made plans to put Lazarus to death as well, because on account of him many of the Jews were going away and believing in Jesus. '
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
It is so powerful to have people in our lives who help us to be the best versions of ourselves. It may seem like having people we care about and who also care about us is something everyone has and is often taken for granted. We expect there to be people to cheer us on, to join in our experiences, to live life with. What we don’t often consider is that God places people in our lives for His purpose. God designed us for relationships and friendship.
God blesses us with the people in our lives (yes, even the people who don’t necessarily feel like a blessing). Everyone in our lives is exactly where they are for a reason; to learn from, to teach, to be an example, to love, to be loved, to humble. No one is in your life by accident. God has a way of aligning people’s paths in exactly the right way we need at exactly the right time we need it.
'I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. '
Have you thanked God for all of the people God has placed in your path, and for placing you in their path as well? Do you pray over them, that they may know God better, and do you strive to shine the light of Christ in their lives? When was the last time you orayed over friendship?
We are called to a divine purpose to be the light in the lives of others. Praying for our friends and for our role in their lives is so important and is part of the incredible responsibility and honor God has blessed us with. Even the people in our lives that we struggle to love, struggle to make peace with, struggle to understand why they are in our path, we should never miss an opportunity to thank God for them and pray over them as well.
A grateful heart has the power to change, soften, and warm a heart. When we allow our hearts to be softened we open ourselves up to His blessings and miracles even more. When we pray for God to work in someone else’s heart, never forget that we may be the tool God uses. Allow God to use you for His divine purpose, no matter what that may mean. Allow God to shine through you in the lives of your friends and family. Above all else, never cease to thank God for choosing you for His divine purpose, and for the people He has put in your life.
In this season of thanks, it's always good to take time to reflect on the goodness that God has given us in all circumstances. Today's we focus on giving thanks to God even in the midst of seemingly unbeatable or troubling circumstances. It is important that we be grateful while under pressure.
In 2 Chronicles, the author recounts the story of Israel's battle against the Moabites, Ammonites and Meunites. Most notably is the openness of the author to mention the fear that Jehoshaphat held facing such a multitude that wanted nothing more than to destroy God's people. This fear drove Jehoshaphat to call his people to a time of fasting and worship before the Lord. This series of events led me to reflect on some key thoughts regarding thanks and our relationship to God.
After this the Moabites and Ammonites, and with them some of the Meunites, came against Jehoshaphat for battle. Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, “A great multitude is coming against you from Edom, from beyond the sea; and, behold, they are in Hazazon-tamar” (that is, Engedi). Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah assembled to seek help from the Lord; from all the cities of Judah they came to seek the Lord.
It is within human nature to fear oppressive opposition. Many great warriors of God including David, Gideon, and Jehoshaphat in our story experienced fear and worry in their battles. The thing that we must remember is that this fear should lead to action of some kind and not paralysis.
Like Jehoshaphat, we must realize that experiencing fear is not a shameful thing but an emotion that leads us to turn to God. When we are facing something that is beyond our ability to handle, instead of shutting down we should acknowledge the one from whom all of our strength to persevere comes. Jehoshaphat, in his fear, turned to God and called all the people of Judah to do the same.
Remembering God's Promises fosters Thankfulness
In this account of Jehoshaphat, we find him recounting the character and promises of God. This comes from being familiar with God's law in order to remind, not God, but ourselves of the power that God has to deliver and overcome. In the midst of trials and difficulties, Jehoshaphat knew that he was only going to find strength through God alone.
In our own lives, thankfulness begins by reminding ourselves of God's promises even in the midst of trying times. We read through and understand the ways in which God has provided for his people and understand that He still works today as He did back then. In his unchanging ways, God still works to preserve His people.
Blessings Come After the Victory
The final idea is that blessing typically comes after the victory and not during the battle. After Judah achieved victory, they are blessed with the spoils of war that took them 3 days to accumulate. This expresses the fact that God blessed them abundantly beyond measure.
It's always important in the midst of our blessing to offer thanks for all that God has done for us in the battle. If we are willing to trust God throughout our trial and stand firm, we can be assured that there is a blessing on the other side. This may, most likely, take its form in personal development or character growth but the blessings that do come should ultimately be recognized and thanks be given to God who has brought us through and strengthened us.
Ever been faced with making a choice to serve God or man? To be put into a lion’s den if you choose God? Having to make a choice of a job or a pay raise or a friend or even family? To thank God would mean losing or not obtaining these things?
When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.
Daniel shows us to give thanks to God even when we know our life or livelihood is at stake. Envious of Daniel, his fellow high officials and satraps convinced King Darius to forbid for 30 days petitions to any god or man otherwise they would be mealtime for some very hungry lions. It’s the familiar story of Daniel and the lion’s den.
Daniel knew of the edict and still opened his windows toward Jerusalem. He hid nothing of what he intended to do. He got down on his knees three times that day and prayed and gave thanks before God. Of course, his enemies came by agreement to watch Daniel violate the edict.
God is in control, always. Humans want life to be perfect. No problems or pain or trials. A life that is easy and without effort. Even robotic. Daniel had a good life. He was on the top of the power structure. King Darius was considering making him his number 2.
Daniel had it all. And yet, he knew that all that he had came from God, not Darius. While Darius may have thought he was in control, ultimately God is in control. Daniel knew who was his King and gave thanks to God, his King.
Darius was greatly upset when he found out about Daniel’s failure to follow the edict. Not because he prayed to God but that meant Daniel had to be tossed into the lion’s den. Darius labored till the sun went down but could not get out of the law that an injunction or ordinance that the king establishes can be changed. Not even by the king.
We are fortunate to live free and not have to be punished for our faith. We do have church family every day being asked to choose between serving God or man. Every day martyrs are killed around the world for their obedience in God and their refusal to disown God facing the same choice that Daniel had to make.
Daniel went into the lion’s den after having Darius declare “May your God, whom you serve continually, deliver you!”.
Doesn’t this look like King Darius praying for Daniel? I know it was more of a statement than a prayer, but why not consider it as a prayer too?
Then, at the break of day, the king arose and went in haste to the den of lions. As he came near to the den where Daniel was, he cried out in a tone of anguish. The king declared to Daniel, “O Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to deliver you from the lions?”
Booyah! Darius fasted and could not sleep all night and as soon as it was the break of day he ran in haste to the lion’s den and called out in a tone of anguish. Imagine the wave or relief that washed over him as he heard Daniels voice.
Daniel was thankful even knowing it would cost him. He did not know that God would protect him or that God would reward him. There is no guarantee that if we do as Daniel, we will see earthly rewards. We will see heavenly rewards.
Last week I got a call from a friend I had not spoken to in two years. This person saw me come back to God on a very personal level. She saw me struggle to sacrifice my fears, to sacrifice the control I thought I had on my life, and to sacrifice my job, my family, and the life I once knew. She watched me transform through massive sacrifice of everything I had. What I never knew was that later this friend would remind me that I have much more to sacrifice - such a powerful and necessary sacrifice that I can only be grateful for the blessing.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
When we become part of God’s family, share His truth, live out His divine mission for our lives; when we allow God to take control of our lives and lead us on His path, we become an even bigger target for evil. When you choose to diligently spread God’s truth and love you may as well carry a huge flashing red arrow above your head at all times saying “come test me!” You will absolutely be tested, tempted, broken, and refined. God will sometimes have to break our hearts in order to soften them.
In order for God to polish us and see His reflection in us He will allow us to go through the fires so that our impurities can be smelted away. Through this refining, we give ourselves up to a God who is so much bigger than ourselves and who loves us so much He chooses to be our God. He chooses to create, help, heal, refine, and use us. Being a child of God means that I truly must sacrifice myself for His glory, mission, and purpose so that His will may be done through me, whatever that may mean.
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.
When I was 22 years old I heard God tell me that I needed to give myself up completely to His mercy. For years I thought I could gain control of my crazy world. I thought I was making it okay. I had done life “my way”, was “figuring it out”, was barely scraping by. I had spent years living the way I wanted to and following my own ambitions and desires. At 22 years old I surrendered control to God, and with that I began to understand that in order to really live out His will I MUST sacrifice all of my own human desires, ambitions, pride, recognition, and control to Him. As soon as I gave myself completely into His hands my whole world began to change. I sacrificed my old life and old self so that God could make me new. I was filled with incredible peace, wisdom, and a desire purely for Him and His plan.
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
"Grateful" and "sacrifice" are two words that certainly do not seem to go in the same sentence. Sacrificing ourselves for His sake is extremely difficult, and it is extremely constant. It is not a daily choice - it is a moment-by-moment choice. It is a constant sacrifice but it is a sacrifice that I am so grateful God gave me the option to make. Sacrificing myself has been a blessing beyond belief. It is a sacrifice I regret not taking when I slip up and think I can do it better. When I fail to release control to God I mess up every time. When I think I know better or my ideas will have better results I am disappointed every single time. But when I, again, humbly sacrifice myself to my Almighty God, I know that I can trust whatever comes. Yes, it still hurts sometimes but there is also a peace knowing that God will carry me through it.
'Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. '
The past few weeks have seen an amazing emphasis on self-care as we have focused on how to best manage material possessions, spiritual paralysis, and even how to allow God to free us in the midst of feeling spiritually stopped up leading to worry and anxiety. In this post, we will wrap up this series by looking at the value of forgiveness.
As people, many of us are prone to hold grudges against others who have wronged us. In many cases, we can find ourselves longing for justice to be served and can place ourselves in a mental state in which we replay the events over and over while secretly wishing a large object would fall out of the sky and right onto the head of a person that has caused us pain. We do all of this while questioning why God is permitting such terrible things to happen to his children as if we are entitled to better treatment simply because we believe in Jesus.
Even as I sit writing this, I find myself thinking back on my life and running through the list of people that took advantage of me, bullied me, or betrayed me. This list is not really long but the pain that they have caused sticks with me to this day. It can deeply affect my actions and behaviors towards people if I’m not careful and I don’t even recognize it’s happening until such a time as I realize that what I’ve done has harmed a standing relationship unintentionally. It is truly a humbling thought to realize that we are all susceptible to these issues and for that reason we feel the need to share some thoughts regarding a biblical approach to forgiveness.
Forgiveness is Directly Tied to Our Ability to Love
36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and reclined at table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.” 41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” 44 Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Then those who were at table with him began to say among[a] themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
It is difficult to imagine that our willingness and ability to forgive is tied so closely to our capacity for love but in this story from Luke’s gospel we are shown just that. When Jesus is dining with some of the Pharisees a woman of ill repute comes to him with tears and perfume to anoint his feet and dry them with her hair. In comparison to the actions of the Pharisees that night, he sets her behaviors above theirs and in forgiving her sins provides the statement that “he who is forgiven little loves little.”
This woman knows her failures and the sin in her life and recognizes the salvation that was available through Jesus which led her to him in the first place. She was able to look at her life and recognize how much she had been forgiven for and as a result expressed such great love towards her savior that offered freedom from her guilt and shame. This was a point deeply missed by the Pharisees as they were so focused on what sins she had committed and not on the guilt and shame of knowing and being constantly reminded of how fallen she was.
Forgiveness is for our Own Healing and Relief
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother[a] will be liable to judgment; whoever insults[b] his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell[c] of fire.23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
We should be cautious here since we never want to make spirituality solely about us but in this case, our ability to forgive others is directly connected to true freedom. The passage listed above is from Jesus’ sermon on the mount and the lesson for this point comes specifically in the context of his discussion on where the seeds of hate and murder are planted. When people wrong us, a seed of bitterness and hate is planted whether we realize it or not. Specifically in this verse, Jesus calls those who have been wronged to reconcile with the aggressor of that pain. This is a backwards way of thinking even today. When we are wronged, we almost demand that they come and make things right with us but in this verse, Jesus says those who are at the altar and realize there is a dispute, should go and reconcile.
When we are unwilling to give up transgressions against us, it binds us to those who have caused us pain. This means we are giving head and heart space to people that have no right to be there. Even in the Lord’s prayer Jesus counsels his disciples by saying “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Our willingness to forgive others is an act of healing in and of itself. This does not mean that the other person will apologize but by doing our part and forgiving them we begin the healing and choose not to use that as an excuse for negative behaviors in the past. The last thing God wants us to do is be bound to another because of pain that He has promised to heal.
We Have No Right to Seek Revenge
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Finally, we must remember that when it comes to human relationships, we have no authority to repay wrongdoing with another wrongdoing. We must remove the old adage that says “two wrongs make a right.” This is worldly thinking and something that should be purged from our actions. As Paul writes to the church of Rome, there is never a call to repay evil for evil rather, believers should “live at peace with everyone.” That is a tall order to meet but one that we should strive towards.
While it is easy to get stuck and desire repayment for wrongs, we also have to hope for a restoration to God in these matters who is the only one justified judge. Our goal, as people, is to live in such a way that glorifies God so that others may come to know Him and be saved. When we live in a way that avoids retaliation and runs to forgiveness we live a life that pleases and honors the God we serve.
I think we can all agree that videogames are super fun, and most of us would say they are an important part of our lives. I think I can also say with much confidence that our jobs, finances, families, and friends also fall into the “important bucket”. Growing up my family never had much money, we certainly didn’t have much family time between all the screaming and fighting, I can count the number of healthy friendships I’ve had on one hand, and was extremely absorbed into my job before becoming a stay-at-home-mom because I was so concerned about having more money all the time. So each of those things definitely holds significant weight in my life, and it can be extremely difficult to place these things as less important than each other or anything else. I truly feel that is a struggle most, if not all, of us have to some degree.
So where should each of these things fall along the importance scale? The answer is actually pretty simple.
In Mark 9, Jesus took Peter, James and John up to a mountain and this is where Jesus temporarily stripped off His humanity and let His deity shine bright. He proved His divine identity in that moment, and while doing so had Elijah and Moses there speaking with Him in the presence of Peter, James and John. Peter then took it upon himself to interrupt Jesus and offer to help Him by creating shelters for Jesus, Elijah, and Moses - notably, he placed all 3 of them as equals in this offer to help. So in this incredible moment where God let His light shine upon the faces of these earthly men, Peter failed to recognize the importance of the moment, the importance of Jesus, and also had the grand idea that he could help Jesus. It doesn’t stop there, though. After Peter had totally killed the moment and made a fool of himself, God scolded Peter.
'Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!” ' Mark 9:7
What is God really saying here?
“Jesus is more important than Elijah and Moses, whom you just tried to make equals. Don’t try to help him, just be quiet and listen to him!”
You ever find yourself trying to “help” God? Or argue with Him about what should be done? Do you ever find yourself placing “things” of this world above Jesus?
Yeh, me too.
When we try to help God or “reason” with Him that our way is better, we are placing ourselves above God. When we prioritize money, friends, family, fame, work, or anything else above Christ, we are failing to make Him Lord of our lives. This in turn starts to clog our spirits as we grow more out of tune with Him, and further away from the work God wants to do in our lives.
Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.
We are called to something greater than to be content with earthly rewards. As much as we enjoy our video games, value family time and friends, work hard to have more money and buy more “things”, these things should all fall under the Lordship of Christ. It is okay to place value on the things we love and enjoy, but what we so often find ourselves doing is placing Jesus in one bucket and everything else in another, separating them. What we need to do is bring every part of our lives under the Lordship of Christ. Let Him rule over every aspect of our lives. When Jesus is the Lord of our lives, we make Him higher than anything else. He becomes our highest influencer, the most important, highest ranked Saviour and Ruler of everything we have, do and say. We are not called to just include Him in the important things; He needs to be placed above them because when He is not above it all, we risk destroying it all - just as Peter ruined the moment where Jesus stripped off his humanity for a tiny sneak peek at His true divine identity.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with life, stressed out and not sure what to do, take a look under your umbrella and see where you have placed your “important things”. Are they under Christ, or separated? Reach out to Him to help you get refocused and realigned, and unclog your spirit from our human perception of “important”.
'And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. '
As I lay awake, completely restless and unable to sleep, I began to pray and jump onto my Bible app to catch up on some of my reading plans. I had been feeling pretty anxious for a solid week and just when I had started to feel a bit better my mind was flooded with anxiety evoking thoughts.
I'd missed a family members funeral due to distance and time, spent far too much time in a crowded room of people I was uncomfortable around, rough mom week, stressful finances, and bad news and tough requests all week long. The list can go on, but I know we've all had one of "those weeks" at some point; the kind that leaves you feeling utterly drained and vulnerable, and that makes you want to isolate yourself so you can melt into a puddle under the covers of your warm, safe bed and not come out till the stress is gone.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
If you're anything like me you sometimes go through periods where you just can't seem to keep your eyes on Jesus and what He provides. It's far too easy to see the things that feel like they're going wrong, and then we miss the opportunity to learn something, and to see God work in our lives.
Sometimes I need a reminder that life is so much more than what feels wrong or difficult. There is so much more than what I see in the tunnel vision if anxiety. When we get sucked into that hypnotizing tunnel vision we get stuck in a spiritual rut like walking in quicksand. You just want to get free, but you forget that in order to get out of the sinking sand you have to be slow, steady, and patient. Panicking is what makes you sink into the depths of the sand, suffocating into darkness.
When we lose our focus on Jesus, we panic and sink, and wind up stuck. When we keep our focus on Him we realize He's been throwing us a rope this whole time and it's right there at our fingertips ready to be grabbed onto so He can pull us out and free us from the sinking pit of despair.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I think we can all admit money is in itself a stressful topic. Sometimes it just feels like there's never enough. As a single mom I struggled to afford what was needed, constantly sacrificing to ensure my kiddo had what she needed, working longer, harder hours hoping to make a bit more money, at some points working up to three jobs. I was drowning in worry over money. After a long time of this I started to feel God put on my heart to start tithing. I was so anxious over this and it felt like the finances weren't getting any easier, but as soon as I gave in and out of faith began to give back to God I saw my whole world change around me and my entire faith blossomed more than I'd ever known possible. Stepping out in faith and trusting God with my finances helped me get unstuck from a constant pit of financial worry.
When I focus on the money (or lack thereof), get worked up about it, spend too much, or stress about being able to buy what I need, I miss out on God constantly showing up to remind me that He will provide for me. And boy does He show up! Ever since I began giving back to God my faith has grown and God has blessed me in ways I never imagined would happen in my life. Keeping my eyes, and my heart, focused on Christ will keep the anxiety of finances at bay. He's got this!
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
You ever just feel like when it rains it pours? My ability to be kind and gracious has been tried and tested more times than I can track, and I don't think there are ever enough reminders to be the peacemaker, to be the one who stays calm, who shares a voice of reason. I definitely don't always succeed. I mean, I am human, and God knows very well that these reminders throughout every day are so necessary for all of us. I discover time and again that when I find myself complaining about my circumstances, point to the speck in someone else's eye, and just all-around finding myself depressed, upset, or on edge it can always be traced back to me not spending as much time with God. Whenever I find myself becoming negative, whiny or hostile I realize it's because I'm not living as Christ. I'm not being the peacemaker in my world. Once I zero back in on His plan and strive to be more like Christ, I feel myself pulling loose from the quicksand again and start to breathe easier. Maybe the situation doesn't improve right away, but I know from experience that my perspective and attitude has the power to grow my faith or sink it. It takes intentional focus every moment of the day, but it is worth every moment.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
God knows very well when we are hurting, and He hurts with us as a Father mourns with His hurting children. God has an incredible way of comforting us in our sadness. When we choose to look to Him for comfort we are able to find an impossible peace to help us tackle the pain. We must recognize that God is in control. We are not. Lifting our worries up to a God who cares allows us to be freed of the hurt and over time we can heal and learn from the hurt. We can use every pain as a tool to learn and grow our faith, and grow deeper in relationship with Christ.
Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.
I think the biggest challenge we face is to obey the word of God, but I can honestly say that when we strive to do our best to live as Christ and obey His instruction we can then live our best life. Life will continue to have ups are downs, joys and sorrows, pleasures and pain, but we get to learn more about our Heavenly Father and be blessed with His peace, grace, forgiveness and every other blessing He has in store for us as we strive to honor Him with obedience. We can get unstuck from the spiritual ruts we find ourselves in by heeding His warnings and listening for His instruction. Life doesn't feel so bad when we are aligned with our God who loves us more than we could ever comprehend.
“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.”
GK Chesterton
We live in a materialistic world. It is all around us whether we see it in our neighbor’s possessions, from commercials telling us we deserve the good things, to some religious leaders saying that our faith will speak riches into our lives. We all know famously that we can’t take it with us and yet we continue to seek the riches of this world. All that we acquire, collect or obtain will not be coming with us when we are face-to-face with God.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
But don’t we need worldly possessions such as housing, food, clothing, transportation, and basic things of life? Isn’t there comfort in worldly possessions? Does God want us to suffer while we live far from Home? And yet we know that money, and how we handle money, is a root of so many marital conflicts, jokes, suffering and evil whether we have too much or not enough.
And don’t we feel our anxieties fall away with purchases? The endorphin rush we get from buying stuff followed by the unpacking and setting up? Isn’t this a good thing?
Is there self-care in worldly possessions?
I have no answer to that question. Balance seems to be word that comes to mind. We should never grow too enslaved to possessions nor become homeless and dependent on others.
Jesus tells us “And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’”
And yet Solomon told us it is all a chasing after the wind, a vanity of vanities. .
He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity. When goods increase, they increase who eat them, and what advantage has their owner but to see them with his eyes? Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep. Ecclesiastes 5:10-12 ESV
From a WebMd.com article "Compulsive shopping and spending are defined as inappropriate, excessive, and out of control," says Donald Black, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. "Like other addictions, it basically has to do with impulsiveness and lack of control over one's impulses. In America, shopping is embedded in our culture; so often, the impulsiveness comes out as excessive shopping." So even the secular world realizes that worldly possessions are not self-care.
So what are we to do? We must trust in Jesus and let him take care of us. Some will be blessed with more than you as God uses them to help those who need help. God will take care of you and your family, and life will be filled with joy and peace and love.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
We are called to take care of our families and trust God to provide for all of our needs such as food, clothing, housing etc. When we are obedient to His instruction and head His calling for us, He provides not only our needed worldly possessions but blesses us even more so that we can also be a blessing to others. If all we do is strive to keep earning more, we will be like that rich man who wanted more and more in the parable Jesus told in Luke.
And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.
God is our Heavenly Father - He is our Dad. Dads are designed to be the leader and head of the family. They are meant to protect, provide and guide their children. We are called to be obedient to our parents, and that does in fact include our Father in Heaven above all else.
As I contemplated this post I realized that my own defiance and procrastination about writing this post felt very similar to me defying my parents. I don’t always want to do what my Dad tells me to do but in the end, I realize that He is the only one who knows what is actually best for me. He is exactly the kind of Dad I need.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1
I have had an incredibly difficult relationship with my parents. I love them, I want to have a strong relationship with them, but this is not the case for me. My parents see me very differently than my Dad sees me. When they put me down I hear my Dad say “Be still, you are beautiful to me”. When I feel used, hurt, forgotten, and unwanted I feel His love, I feel Him pulling me closer like a child wrapped up in the arms of a Father who loves her.
When I feel alone, longing for a relationship with my family, He reminds me of the amazing, loving, beautiful family He has surrounded me with and His own place as the Head of that family. God is in every way the best Dad a child could ever hope for, could ever need, could ever desire.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1
We have an opportunity to build an extremely fulfilling relationship with a Father who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us; a Father who wants to spoil us with blessings, humble us with lessons and discipline (often one and the same), and be with us wherever we go to protect us, help us, save us, heal us, and cheer for us. No matter if your relationship with your earthly parents is the best you could ever hope for or the worst you could ever imagine - you have a Dad who is always there, seeking to strengthen His relationship with you every day.
“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.”
Growing up I was incredibly unhappy. One day I was telling my dad how miserable I was. I was so depressed and I didn’t know how to not feel the way I felt. What he said was a huge turning point for me, and is the only piece of advice I remember receiving from him that held weight, and somehow I knew that my dad was just the vessel for the words I needed to hear. He said:
“If you want to be happy, be happy. That is a choice. You can choose to stay miserable and unhappy, or you can choose to be happy.”
I mean, obviously, it isn’t that easy, right? But it hit me to my core. That shook me. Why was I so miserable in the first place? Because I was seeking the attention and approval of other human beings. Because I was looking for my worth in the opinions of people. SPOILER ALERT: humans are NOT perfect and that is why it is such a precious gift to have a relationship with a Perfect Father.
God's approval is the only approval worth seeking
It took me years to figure out this whole Father-Daughter relationship thing, and yes I still struggle, but I know that I can run to my Dad who does love me, who does see me as valuable and beautiful, who does want the best for me, who will help me, protect me, love me, and provide for me no matter what.
Even in discipline, I find comfort because I know it is for my good. I know, in my relationship with my Dad that grows stronger all the time, that He is correcting me to help me avoid mistakes and hurt. When it does hurt it is so that I can learn and grow. This is how a relationship with our Heavenly Father should feel.
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
If you are struggling to find a relationship with your Dad, let me tell you that He is waiting for you to just openly seek Him out. If you want to feel the comfort only He can provide, just ask!
I want to seek you honestly. I give myself up to you in obedience as your child. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for wanting a relationship with a broken person like me. I ask you to please help me, be my Father, help me learn to be Your child. I am Yours and You are mine and I need help. I open myself up to you and I give you control.
Amen
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
About a year and a half ago I became a stay at home mom for the first time. With that came some unexpected challenges in balancing my priorities. I finally had all the time in the world to sit and suck myself into the video games I loved, but behind me sat a dirty house and, more importantly, my family.
I had spent many years filled with anxiety over providing for my family, keeping the house tidy, putting food on the table, and now, I thought, I could finally take a breath and enjoy myself! But after some time I realized just how upside down my priorities were. The clutter increased, my family felt neglected, and it was harder and harder to pull myself from my games. My anxiety grew and I felt lost.
There are definitely days I would still prefer to sit and do my thing all day long, but what I now understand is that God actually gave us a priority list that is intended to help us do life better, enjoy experiences more, and be at peace even in the every-day chaos. Since I started refocusing my routines to align with His plan, I find so much more peace and joy in my days - AND, yes, I still have time to play games and snag some me-time. When I focus on living out His selfless design I gain more self-fulfillment in all I do.
What is God’s priority list?
When God created man, they were created in His own image. God set man just below the angels and above everything else He created. He then created woman as a helper for man, and their children to be in obedience to the parents.
What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet.
Our first focus should always be on God; on His plan and instruction, on the things of Heaven. Only when we put God at the center and uppermost focus of our lives can we take the best care of our family and ourselves. Period. Building a relationship with Christ should be our first priority in all we do. This sets the strongest foundation for our life.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Next, we focus on our spouse. In this deep and personal relationship, it can be all too easy to put our significant other on the highest pedestal. What they want, desire, or even dislike often becomes precedence. The other side of that, though, is when we put our own needs above our spouse’s. Both are dangerous territory and will throw your relationship into disorder.
Your marriage is compared in scripture to Jesus and His church. Jesus, who is God in the flesh, is head of the Church. The Church submits to Jesus as the wife submits to the husband. Wow, wow, wow - not this whole “submit” thing again! Hold on a second and let’s discuss the true meaning of the word “submit”.
'Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. '
This use of “submit” does not mean you are a servant, are inferior, are weak. Submission in marriage is a sign of strength, respect, and acknowledgment that God set the husband to be the head of the family. This “submission” means a wife is a true helper to her husband. It is to have the heart of respect, humility, strength, and helpfulness. Proverbs 31 is an amazing reference to dive in further.
' A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. '
On the other hand, husbands are called to love their wives. God even tells us exactly how we should love each other throughout scripture. In 1 Corinthians we learn that love is patient and kind, does not dishonor, and is not selfish or prideful. Husbands should not hold anything over their wife, guilt them, demean or shame them. We see the purest example of love in Jesus sacrificing himself for the Church, an incredible and powerful example of a marriage relationship.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
A husband is to be his wife's caregiver, her best friend, her protector. A wife is meant to be her husband's helper and confidant. She is called to honor and respect his position as protector and head of the family. Remember what I said about a 100/100 contribution? We should be ready to give 100% of ourselves to God, and also to, and for, our spouse.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Being a submissive wife and a loving husband is about a balanced relationship where each side understands the role God has placed them in. A marriage relationship should always honor both people. It is not a 50/50 split; it is a 100/100 contribution on both sides. You are responsible for your side of the relationship. You cannot control anyone but yourself. Focus first on Christ and constantly pray for your relationship, ask for guidance and let God fill and guide your relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
A solid marriage relationship is found when the first priority is God, and the relationship is built on His foundation. When we have a solid Christ foundation and strive for a healthy, Biblical marriage, we are then better equipped for healthy relationships with our children. I took a class a couple of years ago called “Women Aware and Choosing” that really helped me understand God’s design for prioritizing our children.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Your spouse is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. They will be there even after your children leave home to make their own lives. Of course, your kids are important and you need to nurture them, love them, play, pray, laugh, and grow with them. Yes, you need to make your kids a priority. Key word there is “a” - not “the”.
Your kids will learn to put God first and learn about healthy relationships by watching you live out His design for relationships, which will better equip them and give you all a much more fulfilling life. Will it always be easy? NOPE! But God is always there to help and guide you in His will.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
When we choose to balance our relationships on God’s design, we are putting ourselves directly into God’s hands. By living in His design, we are actually putting ourselves first after God because when we trust God with our lives we trust Him to provide for all of our needs. By trusting in His plan we are taking care of ourselves.
In striving to build relationships by God’s priorities I have found so much more joy, peace, love, and fulfillment in my life. I take better care of myself and am able to love my family better. I live by a simple principle that often times the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing.
We will never grow if we don’t struggle. Just because something is challenging does not mean it is the wrong path. The struggle to live in God’s intended balance is a struggle worth facing so that you can build the most beautiful and satisfying, God-honoring relationships.
I am a wife, mom, writer, crafter, and above all, a Child of God. I love to study the Bible, fellowship with other Christians, and serve God. I am thrilled to invite you to join me in seeking to satisfy our thirsty souls with the Living Water of Christ, which is what Water On Thirsty Land is here to do.
